im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
too bad you live with your parents still
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
