i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Houston, we have a blender
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize