LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
