I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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