so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they're like a gay fantastic four
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
