dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
