i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
