New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
