I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
