Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
