the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
