Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My feet surprised me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
