I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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