I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
