whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
