she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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