; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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