we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
