So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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