You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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