barbara walters just said penis...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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