my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
