Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
