When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize