those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Never underestimate the power of titties
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