yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
