is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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