How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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