just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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