i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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