after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
