His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
