also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
