I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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