oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
