Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
