How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
