No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
