Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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