so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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