Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
