So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
