She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize