can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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