He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
