if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
