I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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