I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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