He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
