Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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