And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize