glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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