My pussy is not your playground.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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