i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
