my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
