I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no. you can't hotbox the world.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
