we're blogging at a bar
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
