you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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