Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
you never un-have a 4some
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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