Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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